Division B April 2014 Newsletter is Now Available

Produced by Parsons Toastmasters' Michelle Bender

Great Communicators Don't Leave People Hanging

Found this article in the New Jersey Journal. 
Great communicators understand they need to be proactive. They understand that most people on the other end are expecting you to reach out and let them know where things stand without that person having to follow up with you.

The simple concept of "closing the loop" is so significant, not just in terms of client service, but also for professionals who report to their managers and leaders of organizations. Ask yourself this question: If you were the head of a department or division in a company with many people reporting to you dealing with numerous projects, would you rather chase down information about where things stand or have your team members proactively communicate about the status of those projects and the projected completion of them? The answer is obvious.

But in spite of this, too many people are too passive in their communication and wait to be asked, prodded, begged and sometimes pushed very hard by their boss to do what is essentially their job. Simply put, keep your boss in the know. Close the loop. Doing this will reduce your boss' anxiety level, will make you look good and, further, will allow the leader of your team to focus more on the bigger picture rather than micromanaging the information flow.

Even if the project or assignment you are working on is not completed, or you are facing real obstacles or challenges, close the loop by sending an email or communicate via phone or in person to those who need to know about the situation. That way, you can deal with the situation together.


Written by Steve Adubato. View full article http://www.nj.com/business/index.ssf/2014/03/great_communicators_close_the_loop.html

Lance Miller: Speaking With Conviction

Lance Miller, World Champion of Public Speaking recently published a letter on Speaking with Conviction: 

The speaking world is filled with clever catch phrases, 6 second sound bites and speeches written for their political correctness or sensational impact. But I have found that NOTHING communicates, NOTHING penetrates and NOTHING motivates more than a speech based on the convictions of the speaker.

 

"Speaking with conviction" has almost become a catch phrase of its own.  

I have watched people try to speak with conviction, try to create a little conviction on the spot, like putting some extra salt on their popcorn.

This is the speaker who is acting like he has conviction. This all too often ends up with the speaker trying to convince the audience, that he is convinced, in the rightness or correctness of the subject.

Webster's defines conviction as: "a:

a strong persuasion or belief", "b: the state of being convinced."  

Webster's also defines conviction as, "the act or process of finding a person guilty of a crime especially in a court of law."

So we see that we can have conviction, but we can also get a conviction. To get a conviction, to prove someone guilty of a crime, the prosecution must prove their case beyond a reasonable doubt.

When I ask myself, "Do I have conviction?" I am really asking, by the definition, "I have handled any reasonable doubts that I have on this subject?"   

Having conviction is not about convincing the audience of your conviction, it is about convincing yourself.

If I have doubts in the correctness of what I am saying, I will withhold myself from the audience. I will assume a slightly defensive position, based on the possibility of someone calling me out on my doubts.

To impact an audience, I have to speak without hesitation or reservation. I cannot do that if I doubt what I say.

Speaking with conviction is not something you do, as much as it is something you are. 

Message from The World Champion of Public Speaking

There are numerous theories on how and why stage fright occurs. But two things are certain:

(1) It is not caused by fear of a hostile audience, as stage fright occurs with even the friendliest and sympathetic audiences,  

(2) It is something that occurs on the speaker's side of the equation.

 

Over the years of speaking and personal coaching, I have been asked for magic cures and secret solutions to address people's fear of public speaking.

There is only one solution I know of for stage fright. That solution is frequent public speaking.

There is no silver bullet, no magic pill or no self-actualized-mental-exercises that I have found that resolves speaking jitters and the tongue-tied mental blankness of stage fright.  

Speaking is a muscle, you have exercise and strengthen it!  If you don't use it, you will lose it!

Here are some tips that I use to handle speaking nerves:

1. Being nervous about speaking before a group is natural.  Do not feel like it is "only you" and that you should not feel that way. Just say, "I am nervous, therefore, I am normal!"

2. Know what you are going to say. Practice and drill your speech until you know it completely. If you are unsure of what or how you will say it, you will be unsure when you are speaking.

3. Get excited about your message! Believe its value to the audience. If you have doubts about your message, if you think that the audience is not interested or won't like it, that can cause anxiety and nervousness.

I use the analogy of:  "If the room was on fire, would you be able to speak to everyone and tell them to get out!?" That is a message I would definitely want to deliver! Then I create the same amount of importance for my message.

4. Get comfortable with the room you are speaking in. Get there early. Walk the room. Stand in each corner, stand at the front, stand at the back, sit in the seats. Stand for 5 - 10 minutes where you will be speaking from, until you are comfortable being in the location. If possible, rehearse your speech in the room.

5. Speak to one person at a time. Look at one person and speak to them for 1-2 seconds and then speak to another person for 1-2 seconds. This way you're only talking to a few people and not a large group.

Source: Lance Miller, World Champion of Public Speaking

Highlights from Last weeks:

Kristin Blomstrom induced Alaaddin Mogeem as a new member to club. Toastmaster Krystal Rose kicked off our meeting by introducing our topic "Membership". General evaluator Nancy Huang introduced her team who gave feedback on time, grammar use and filler-word use. Our word of the day “optimal” proved that our club is best at keeping our meetings running smoothly and on time. Michelle Bender presented an Advanced Speech, Project 3 from the Storytelling manual titled “The Moral of the Story” and Nancy Flentie presented CC Speech #2 titled “What was that Teenager Thinking?” which was informative and well organized. Best Speaker went to Michelle Bender, Best Evaluator to Kim Acedo and Best Table Topics to Alaaddin Mogeem. Thanks to everyone who participated in the meeting and helped to optimize its success by giving us all a chance to practice & receive valuable feedback in a supportive and encouraging atmosphere.  Written by EVP Rose Abbott, CC, ALB

Aggressor vs. Socializer—What's Your Communication Style?

Consider these four communication styles and how you can effectively communicate with each one.

The Aggressor-Asserter
These are your CEOs in attitude. They are competitive, goal-oriented, demanding, task-oriented and fast-paced. To these people, time is money and money is time. You know where you stand since they are blunt and direct in their communication. Their biggest fear is losing control and they ask the “What” questions. The “aggressor-asserter” has key strengths that include providing momentum, providing focus and making quick decisions. Their “on top of it” approach to projects can keep the rest of the team on target or even get it done early. This must be balanced with their weaknesses, however, which include overstepping their assignments, taking over tasks that have been assigned to others (and not necessarily because they can do them better, they just want to get them done).
To effectively connect with the aggressor-asserter, you must:

• Be brief, direct and concise
• Provide options
• Keep a quick pace
• Focus on results and return-on-investment
• Avoid providing lots of details
• Provide short answers
• Look them straight in the eyes
• Be truthful

The Socializer  
These individuals are charismatic, enthusiastic, persuasive, lively, loud, talkative, friendly, people-oriented and social. They are also visual and creative. Their biggest fear is social rejection and they ask the “who” questions. The “socializer’ is a great motivator. In the most organizations, they are on sales team. They are creative and enjoy brainstorming. They do not keep track of time well and sometimes work tight to deadlines. They enjoy being the center of attention.
To effectively communicate with the socializer, you must:

• Allow time for social interaction
• Put details in writing or email
• Have a fast pace, positive approach
• Use a whiteboard in your discussions (socializers are quite visual)
• Use phrases like “Picture this” or “Do You See”
• Avoid a harsh, aggressive tone

The Mediator  
These individuals are calm, level-headed, great listeners, team-oriented, introverted and loyal. They make decisions in a consensus manner. Mediators like to marinate on questions—you will not get an answer immediately. They dislike conflict so they will internalize and tolerate it. As a result, this internalization builds until they explode. Their biggest fear is loss of stability and they ask the “How” questions. Team and project managers are typically fall into this style. Weaknesses include being hesitant in their approach slowing decision-making—they are going to try to keep everyone happy at the expense of their happinesss. Mediators are hard-working who are humble and do not pat themselves on the back. They make great teachers/trainers and mentors due to their calming and supportive nature.
To effectively connect with the mediator, you must:

• Be patient and logical
• Use a steady, low-key approach
• Involve mediators in the planning process
• Praise them privately
• Allow time for “marination of ideas”—you will not get a quick answer
• Start conversation with a warm and friendly greeting
• Keep your tone of voice at discussion level

The Analyzer  
These individuals are meticulous, detail-oriented, introverted and task-oriented. They can be considered perfectionists, and they are suspicious of others. They may answer a question with a question. Their biggest fear is criticism of work and they ask the “why” questions. Key strengths of the “analyzer” include being detailed-oriented, superb problem solvers and providing the team’s reality check. Weaknesses include having tunnel vision on projects and looking for the perfect solution.
To effectively communicate with the analyzer, you must:

• Be organized and logical
• Support your position using facts
• Make sure that each point is understood before moving to the next point
• Do not use the phrase “Let me give you some constructive advice”
• Use words such as process, data and procedure
• Realize that analyzers are motivated by quality and data

Communicating effectively with the various types is an art. Understanding a person’s style allows you to create harmony and avoid confusion. Developing your “adaptitude”—your ability to adapt your communication style to the listener—is a critical element of being an effective team member. When you are able to recognize the various styles and adjust your approach, your life will be easier and void of the common communication “ills.”


Source GovExec

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